We were raised in the Catholic Church.  My parents, my three sisters, and I attended Mass together every week.  When I was in High School, my family stopped attending church together.  Did we stop going to church because of difficulties, or did we start having difficulties because we stopped going to church?
 

When we graduated from High School, my twin sister, Deddie, and I started college classes in the summer and we got our first jobs.  We didn’t see nearly as much of one another as we’d liked and one thing we did was start meeting at church each Sunday morning.  We’d each drive there and then head to work after Mass.  It was sometimes the only quality time we had together.
 

She got married and moved to Germany and I went away to school.  Our parents divorced, I moved away to work, she came home and divorced.  She remarried and we lived at least 500 miles apart from then on.  This was back in the days before the internet and when making a long distance phone call was pretty expensive on a tight budget.  We wrote a lot of letters back and forth.
 

In the late 90’s we took up running.  In 2000 we met in Chicago and ran our first marathon, together.  I didn’t think it was very much fun, in fact I swore I’d never do it again.  But in 2002 I tried it again and this time, it wasn’t so bad.  In the summer of 2003 Deddie and I and our husbands went to running camp at Lake Tahoe.  We met a lot of really sweet and crazy runners.  We learned of a club of people who ran a marathon in every state called the 50 States Marathon Club.  We were pretty crazy ourselves and we thought we’d give it a try.  It was great.  Every month or so Deddie and I would meet somewhere, visit, and run a marathon.  Running literally brought us together.
 

At one race I found Team 413.  It was based on Philippians verse 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”   We bought the shirts and started wearing them for all of our marathons.  In every race at least two or three people would say things like “I’ve been following you for miles – your shirt inspired me to finish.’ Or ‘that’s my favorite verse, too!’  For us, at the time, we used it for strength to finish the tough mental and physical requirements of finishing a long distance run.
 

But were these just words or did we really believe them?  Did we live them?
 

In 2007 we had 12 marathons to go with a schedule planned to finish our 50th State in October at, where else, the Twin Cities marathon in Minnesota.  In January Deddie and I met in Arizona for a marathon and sisters’ weekend.  We had fun, but Deddie wasn’t feeling well.  The next week they found a 9mm tumor on her liver.  That’s about the size of a baseball.  They told her it wasn’t cancer.  We rejoiced.  On February 23 she had surgery to have the tumor removed.  She was found to have stage IV (the final stage) biliary cancer and it was spread extensively throughout her abdomen.  This cancer is very rare, and it was bad, but we kept the faith and believed she would recover. 
 

Our family became Team 413.  My husband got us all shirts and we wore them to both of Deddie’s chemo treatments.  She spent a lot of time in the hospital and when she was there, her Team 413 shirt hung on the wall directly in her line of vision.  We prayed together every day.
 

In mid-June we were told she didn’t have but a couple of weeks left with us.  I told her that there were so many things I was sorry for that I couldn’t name them all and I asked her to forgive me, she said the same, although I couldn’t think of a single thing she needed my forgiveness for.  We said the words each needed to hear ‘I forgive you.’  We gave a blanket of forgiveness to each other and we told each other to remember how much we loved one another.
 

It lasted only minutes, but I think that was one of the most important talks we had in her final days.  I can’t tell you what knowing I had her forgiveness has meant to me.  Losing her was so difficult for me.  I feel so guilty.  But I can’t change anything I’ve done in the past.  I can only take the precious gift of her forgiveness and try to do better next time.  We have that same gift from Jesus --- if we just ask for it.   We must seek forgiveness of our sins and try to do better.  When we start to beat ourselves up, we have to remember that He has forgiven us.  He died for our sins.
 

Looking back, the thing I marvel at the most was how at peace Deddie was.  She knew it was a matter of days, yet she didn’t complain at all.  How I wished that I would have stopped to talk to her about it.  Reflecting on it all, I realize that she showed us so much grace.
 

She left this world peacefully at 4:20 am on July 8, 2007 with her husband and me holding her hands, one of our younger sisters at her feet, and my husband nearby, as Jesus carried her away.  She set a real example of faith for us all.  We’d seen her live her faith.  She could do all things through Christ who had strengthened her to make her journey home to Him.
 

The next 15 months or so were filled with such intense pain that I could barely breathe.  I didn’t want to get out of bed, my mind and my soul were in torment, I was crying out to God all the time - I was so lost.  Each day was a struggle, and there were days I’d pull into the garage and think about how easy it would be just to shut the garage door and go to sleep.  I’d call upon the strength of Jesus to turn off the motor and get out of the car. 
  

I’d pretty much stopped running through Deddie’s illness. 
 

Now I had a decision to make – how was I going to live?  Was I really going to follow her example?  I wore a shirt proclaiming that I could do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  I had a lot of people watching me and praying for me.  Was I willing to test that faith and hand this over to God, too?  I had to…I was so weak that I couldn’t do the simplest things for myself.  I was calling upon the Lord for the least of things.  I prayed like I’d never prayed before, I read the Bible, I started listening exclusively to Christian radio,  and I sought out my faith-filled family and friends.
 

His strength got us through the toughest part of my life.  I needed to show everyone that the writing on the backs of our shirts weren’t just words, but our FAITH. 
 

Getting back to running was very difficult.  We each had 11 States left to go.  My Brother-in-law, a non-runner, told my sister he was going to finish her states.  I thought Deddie would be really disappointed in me if I didn’t finish.  So, we started training.  We made signs to wear on our backs in Deddie’s memory.  I finished my 50th State on September 21, 2008 and my brother-in-law has just three to go.  We’re planning to wrap those up this year. 
 

Now I run for the Glory of God and in Deddie’s memory, using the time for prayer and praise. 
 

I thought that running marathons was hard, but I’m living through something I never believed I could – my life without my twin, sister, best friend, confidant, running partner, and role model for living the faith.  He never said it would be easy, but through His Grace, God is showing me that He is always here.  I hope that by sharing my faith story, you will learn that WE can do all things through Christ who strengthens US.  Jesus, I trust in YOU!  God bless you all.